My husband and I have certainly had uncomfortable conversations and I’m sure you have too! No one likes to have them, so it’s easy to procrastinate having ANY conversation that has the potential to be uncomfortable. Talking about financial issues seems to be a topic most couples try to avoid at all costs.
I have learned form experience that the most dreaded conversations can turn out not to be as difficult as expected and can be extremely rewarding. Rewarding? Yes, the fact that there is an emotional charge on the topic means they are important and potentially life-changing! More of a reason to have them. If they could only be easier…
Here are some things to think about the next time you feel you need to have an uncomfortable conversation, but end up procrastinating.
1. Go into the conversation with your ideal life in mind. If you start there and focus on where you both want to go and remind each other of your goals and dreams, this can help set a good tone and potentially avoid a dispute. You are reminding your spouse that your on the same team. Also, start the conversation with the ideal outcome in mind. This will help you stay focused on the right things to say.
2. Remember that great things happen from uncomfortable conversations and in order to grow they are unfortunately necessary from time to time. They are usually, however, not as bad as we anticipate them to be, so don’t procrastinate!
3. Start the conversation with your spouses perspective in mind. Address their needs and wants first and let them know you have considered them!
4. Choose a time when the two of you are relatively relaxed and open. Avoid a financial conversation when the two of you are tired and/or have been drinking.
5. The more you talk about finances to your spouse, the easier these conversations become.
I can look back to numerous uncomfortable conversations Chris and I had…Most of them turned out well and I can point back to a couple that changed our lives for the better! Keep in mind, the conversation you are avoiding can be the one to change your life forever.
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